Jul 8, 2020

Do I Like Me?

Do I like me?


Galatians 1:10 ~ “Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.”


Do I like me?


I’ve heard it called the 8th deadliest sin...vainglory.  When we seek others approval over the approval of God two things can happen.


#1- They will refuse to give it, leaving you to question if or why you’re not enough. 


#2- They will give it conditionally, then take it away, leaving you to question if or why you’re not enough. 


Do I like me?


At some point we all should look in the mirror and ask, “Do I like me?”  So ask yourself, do you like you?


The answer to this question gives insight to your relationship with your Creator, and all other relationships as well. Relationships begin with and within ourselves. 


If I look in the mirror and don’t really like who I see, there’s no way I’m giving that person permission to represent me as a friend, a parent, a wife or husband, son or daughter, an employee, or any role in any relationship. Why would I? 


No way!


Wait!  I want relationships!  I need relationships!  So who will I be in them if I can’t or won’t be me?


I’ve got it!  (...or do I?)


I’ll be the person each friend needs me to be by comparing myself to their other friends, especially the ones they like most. And if I don’t know for sure, I’ll be who I think they want me to be. 


I’ll be the parent they need me to be by comparing myself to other parents, especially those “poster parents” that never make mistakes. And if I don’t know for sure, I’ll be the parent I think they want me to be. 


I’ll be the husband or wife that they need by comparing myself to other husbands and wives, especially those perfect marriages I see in church. And if I don’t know for sure, I’ll be the husband or wife I think they want me to be. 


I’ll be the son or daughter they need by comparing myself to others or my siblings, especially the ones who they favor. And if I don’t know for sure, I’ll be the son or daughter I think they want me to be by doing whatever it takes to make them proud of me. 


I’ll be the employee they need by comparing myself to coworkers that seem to get all of the approval, or continually change to fit any role they put me in. And if I’m not sure, I’ll be the employee I think they want me to be. 


Yes!  I’ll be whoever I need to be in any relationship by comparing myself to others who are awesome in that relationship, especially the ones I see on social media. And if I’m not sure, I’ll be who I think they need me to be. 


Do I like me?


Sounds ridiculous on some level doesn’t it?  Yet how many of us can relate?  Maybe not to all, but most likely one or two of these situations. 


When we don’t know or more often don’t believe that we are enough, these are the relationships we forge. Living life constantly changing who I am, seeking approval that rarely comes, never knowing who I really am. 


I know.  I’ve done it most of my life.  Each relationship described above is a relationship I’ve tried to live...and failed at miserably. 


There are two ways to learn a lesson, through teaching and through experience.  When we are faced with a challenge, there is usually a lesson to be learned. Once faced with a challenge, there’s really no way to avoid it.  We can try to ignore or deny it, only to face it repeatedly. 


The challenge remains until the lesson is learned.


I’ve learned that when we don’t begin each of these relationships with a knowledge of who we are and a belief that we are enough, we miss out on the real love and joy within them. Or worse, we set the relationship upon a destructive path full of hurt, betrayal, and loss. 


I’m so grateful that we serve a God who allows us to learn hard lessons but who doesn’t leave us in our own heap of brokenness that results. He’s a God of restoration. He’s a God of reconciliation. (But that is a story for another post.)


So the question remains.  Do I like me?


Do you like you?


If the answer is “Yes”, reach out.  I’d love to hear your story. There is power in our stories. Power to rescue others. 


If the answer is an emphatic “No” or “I just don’t know”, that’s ok and here’s why. 


The moment we truly seek to determine if we like who we are is the moment we begin to discover who we really are. The truth is that some of you reading this know who you are and don’t like it. Some of you have no idea who you are because like me, you’ve lived a life of constantly trying to be who others wanted you to be or who you thought you needed to be. Wherever you land the greatest news you’ll hear today is that you don’t have to stay there. There is FREEDOM. 


Wherever we are, there is always a NEXT STEP.. What is your NEXT STEP?  Your NEXT STEP will bring you closer to liking who you are or it won’t. Your NEXT STEP will reveal the very real truth that no matter who you are, no matter what you’ve done, you are enough. The choice is yours to make. 


Psalm 119:105 ~ “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.”  I love this passage because it tells you that not only do you have a NEXT STEP, but that God has designed it and is trying to reveal it to you. 


In the search to know who you are comes the desire to know what you’re made of. There’s a desire to know who made you. There’s a desire to know why you were created. Every desire to do something or find out something points you to a NEXT STEP. 


In life, the more you tell someone who they are the less you have to tell them what to do. To know who you are is to know Whose you are. To know Whose you are reveals the truth that even in your imperfectness, you are enough. The moment you begin to see that you’re enough in spite of your mistakes, every reason to not like yourself begins to fade. Tests become testimonies. Messes become messages. Pain becomes your platform. 


Ready to take your NEXT STEP?


Not sure what your NEXT STEP is?


Want to experience the moment when you can look in the mirror and say, “I like you!” - and mean it?  Walls come down when you know that even though you’re not perfect, you are enough. 


You can!  You will!  


Walking with you. 


Don


(Thank you for taking time to read my post.  In life, we are rescued to rescue. I do this as a writer, a speaker, and a Life Coach. If you’re ready to take your NEXT STEP but not sure what it is or how to take it, a Life Coach can provide focus & clarity. Reach out to me at knownneededloved@gmail.com and simply say “I’m ready to find my NEXT STEP!”  I’m ready if you are. Let’s go!)

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